First Steps

I hit the drop-off around eight months ago. I had planned to use my maternity leave to start on my first personal goal: Health. My health goal is to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. Unfortunately, my plan was ambitious and I was an exhausted new mother. I hit a wall of exhaustion. Overwhelmed and disappointed, I decided to use my maternity leave to spend quality time with my son as much as possible. It was a good decision. My next plan was to take fitness classes at my fitness club five days a week starting mid-December. My husband had three weeks off. I ended up having a daily latte at Starbucks instead. Do I regret it? No. First, I was exhausted and I needed the break. Second, I was sick and motherhood means I have to take care of myself so I can take care of my son. I can’t afford to run myself down. Finally and most importantly, I was setting myself up for failure. If I went from virtually no exercise to five days a week that fast, I would inevitably burn myself out. I regrouped and decided to start slower with one class a week building myself up to five. Things came up. Did I mention we are also trying to sell our house? Anyways, my gym plans were put on hold. My plan was to start last week, but my son started daycare and I, as any mother knows, could not pass up on the day off. It’s been 15 months since I had a real day off! My next plan was to start this week coming up. I know I have to get to it and I will. I’m just trying to find the momentum.

My second personal goal after Health is Social Network. My social network goal is to have a good group of friends. During my maternity leave, I had the opportunity to reconnect with an old friend. We became friends when I first moved to my current city in 2005. Even though we kept in touch, we drifted apart. I felt bad about that so when she invited me to a moms’ group, I was excited for the chance to reconnect. Disappointingly, she only made it to the group half the time and when she did she was often doing something else. So much for reconnecting. The final straw came when the time came to sign-up again for the moms’ group. She actually blew me off. What she did wasn’t that egregious and it wasn’t the first time she was flaky but I realized it was a friendship that didn’t work anymore. It was both a time and energy drain. I ended the friendship right, assertively but with compassion. It’s something I think everyone who is engaged in any kind of personal growth has to do from time to time. And it’s good to learn how to do it right. So it’s good, but it still sucks.

My third personal goal is Life Fulfillment. My life fulfillment goal is to have purpose and connect to it. The subject of personal growth excites me. I return to work 1 1/2 weeks and I work in healthcare so I definitely get to engage in personal growth stuff there. However, I am looking to expand. At this point, my goal is a bit vague so I’m not sure how I am going to do that.

And this is where I’m at. First steps.

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